The other day in church during a lull in the service I started staring at the back of my hand that rested on the top of my cane. I realized as I stared at the back of my hand that I didn't recognize it. That kind of threw me. After all aren't we supposed to know the back of our hand?
As often the case with me it led me to start thinking if I didn't recognize the back of my hand what else didn't I recognize.
Without question I recognize my wife, children, grandchildren but as I began expanding my circle of recognition that was when it began to get hazy as to what I recognized and understood.
The way things were when I was in my twenties are not the same way today. The times and what we value have changed and I don't think necessarily for the best.
When I began as a inspector in training, age and the knowledge it represented was valued. Not so today as evident by such articles from a recent article from the New Your Times that if you are over 50 you are most likely the first to be laid off and in today's economy the last to be put back to work.
I remember when I was in my late 40's and had applied for work with a private company the VP interviewing me commented outload that he really didn't like to hire us older guys because we expected more pay and were more difficult to maniuplate into doing things that were questionable. The biggest issue of course is the pay for if we have invested a significant portion of our life into a company we tend to expect more compensation for our loyalty. Again something that is no longer recognized our valued.
A lot of things have changed and I believe not necessarily for the best. As the old folk song goes "These times are a changing" and so they may but I haven't.
The world and the lay of the land I find myself I may not recognize but I will continue to try to understand it but without giving up the values I have always held to be true. Faith in my God, belief in the faithfulness of my wife, the value of a shared connection of family, loyalty of friends.
In the end I am still "just thinking it out."
Current Reading Material
A Fire In The Sun by George Alec Effinger,